Real Managers Real Stories: Promotions, Gender Disparity and Overcoming Self-Doubt

Today, we're diving into the email of a manager who is grappling with self-doubt and the challenges that come with being the youngest and only woman on her team. This email resonates with the experiences of many new and developing managers in the workplace, and is a powerful reminder that the journey to personal and professional growth is deeply personal in the nuanced challenges that each individual faces.

"Hi Rach,

Two things lead me here. I just got a promotion at my job and I am the only woman in my team. Some of my goals are to learn how to be more confident and experience less self-doubt. Some of my challenges, I am the youngest and the only woman in my team.

I honestly do not know exactly where I am stuck in achieving my goals. I think time is really the key but I could be wrong. I also think the fact that I "fell" into my career has not helped. I have embraced all opportunities as they have come and my promotion is one of them.

I am not sure yet what kind of support I am looking to receive. I am hoping that we will discuss this in our call so I can gain some clarity.

Thank you,

Recently Promoted Manager"

Navigating the Gender Gap

One of the defining aspects of our developing manager’s journey is that she is the only woman in her team. The gender gap presents significant challenges for female managers as it often places them in male-dominated leadership environments, where they might encounter a lack of representation and mentorship. This can contribute to feelings of isolation and self-doubt, making it harder to be effective in their roles. Research has documented clearly that the gender gap leads to unconscious bias and stereotypes, which make it harder for women to be heard in meetings and derail female manager’s careers after initial promotion.

Advice to this developing manager
To overcome the gender gap and thrive as a new female manager, it's essential to actively seek out mentorship and networking opportunities with both female and male colleagues who can offer guidance, support, and allyship. Embrace your unique perspective and experiences as strengths, and use them to your advantage when making decisions and leading your team. Continuously invest in your personal and professional development, enhancing your skills and knowledge to demonstrate your competence and leadership capabilities, breaking through gender-related biases and stereotypes.

Uncertainty and The Quest for Confidence

The email highlights her desire to become more confident and experience less self-doubt. This manager is not alone. Improving confidence is an aspiration shared by countless individuals, especially after promotion as a first time manager. Confidence is a fundamental skill that impacts personal and professional success. Overcoming self-doubt is a vital step on the path to empowerment.

Advice to this developing manager
To boost confidence, start by setting a clear vision for what a more confident version of yourself will look like. Here’s a vision statement template - 6 months from now I will be….so that…. “I will be” defines who you seek to become. What does that new and confident you look like? “So that” describes why this is important. What will you be able to do as a result of gaining this confidence” Taking the time to write your vision statement is critical so that you can set meaningful, achievable goals that will enable you to build your confidence.

The Unknown Roadblocks

Our developing manager also candidly shares her uncertainty about where she might be stuck in achieving her goals. This is a sentiment many of us can relate to,  we don’t know what we don’t know. Often, we're so deeply immersed in our daily routines that we can't easily pinpoint the exact source of our struggles. Self-reflection and external guidance become essential tools for gaining clarity on the path forward.

Advice to this developing manager
Addressing your unknown roadblocks requires external intervention. By definition, you aren’t able to articulate the obstacles and challenges that are holding you back. This is really common for developing managers and sadly, one that their own managers rarely support them through. Start by engaging in open and honest conversations with your direct manager, peers, and mentors, seeking their input and insights into your unknown roadblocks and weaknesses. Make it clear that you are asking for direct feedback so that you can grow. Create 2 goals that you are going to work on to overcome the identified roadblocks over the next 3-6 months. Discuss with your manager how you will get ongoing feedback so that you can learn and grow from your successes and challenges along the way.

"Falling" Into a Career

Our manager mentions that she "fell" into her career, a sentiment shared by many developing managers. Most professional journeys don't follow a linear, planned trajectory. While exciting, this can lead to imposter syndrome, a psychological phenomenon in which individuals doubt their own abilities and constantly fear being exposed as frauds, despite evidence of their competence and achievements.

Advice to this developing manager
To overcome imposter syndrome, a developing manager must first acknowledge that they are in good company. This feeling of being an imposter is a common one and many successful individuals experience it in their leadership journey. Next, make a list of your achievements to date and the positive feedback you have received to remind yourself of your competence. Finally, embrace a growth mindset, focus on continuous self-improvement and professional development, as gaining new skills and knowledge will boost your confidence and help combat imposter syndrome. Align your self-improvement steps with your 6 month goals so that your development is strategic and reinforces your feeling of ownership and empowerment in your leadership journey.

Seeking Support

Our developing manager is open about not knowing exactly what kind of support she needs. This is a crucial acknowledgment. Often, we need guidance to understand how to get over our obstacles. In her case, she is seeking coaching that will provide her with a structured and supportive environment to explore her goals and challenges, and to identify the specific assistance she requires.

Advice to this developing manager: 
Group coaching is an effective way to support your leadership development as a new manager because it provides a diverse perspective and a rich pool of experiences from your peers in a similar position. In a group setting, you can learn from others' challenges and successes, enhancing your problem-solving skills and offering insights you might not have considered on your own. Moreover, group coaching fosters a supportive environment where you can openly discuss your leadership dilemmas and receive constructive feedback, creating a network of peers who can help you grow as a leader, while being guided by a certified leadership development coach.

The Journey Ahead

This developing manager’s email serves as a powerful reminder that even when we reach milestones in our careers, we may still encounter self-doubt, uncertainty, and unique challenges. These hurdles don't have to define us; they can merely shape the path we take and the stories we tell.

If you find yourself in a similar situation, remember, you are not alone. The path to empowerment is filled with opportunities to learn, grow, and redefine your boundaries.